I wrote in my last post how I ended things for good with the current bachelor on Friday night after he put his ex ahead of me. Well, I noticed on Saturday that he "unfriended" me on Facebook so that told me he was angry at me because he just doesn't get it. Well, he showed up at church yesterday, sat across the sanctuary from me and refused to look over in my direction. When church let out, I've never seen a peg-legged man move so quick to get out of there. I guess he was afraid I would try to talk to him. What's ironic is the fact that the sermon was about how it grieves the Holy Spirit for us to harbor anger or ill feelings. I guess he missed that part of the sermon. I'm not innocent on this either because I am still hurt by his treatment of me but I would have at least spoken to him yesterday if he had been receptive. I just hate being on bad terms with someone.
Anyway, my birthday is today and I am now 36 years old. I'm just not too excited about this because I'm not where I want to be yet in my life. I really would like to be in a committed relationship, have the option of becoming a mother, and I would like to still achieve my weight loss goal. I know it's not too late for any of this to happen but when another birthday strikes, it just reminds me that time is winding down. I am praying for Mr. Right to come along but I need to find contentment in myself as well. I am praying strongly for this right now. I need to feel complete by myself and not because I have a man. No man will ever complete me and if I believe that a man will complete me, then I am just setting myself up for disappointment.
Even with my disappointment Friday night and my emotional state always being close to tears this weekend, the weekend didn't turn out half bad. My mom came over on Saturday and we did some power shopping Saturday. I then got in an afternoon nap and bachelor #5 invited me over to go trick or treating with him and his son. We walked around the neighborhood for about 2 hours while his son collected a huge loot of candy and I watched this bachelor flirt with a new single lady in his neighborhood. It bothered me at first, but I'm the one who broke up with him and we are just friends now, so it's not my place to be bothered. My Sunday was kind of boring though. I did enjoy church even though I was a bit uncomfortable with the ex there, I got my grocery shopping done, took a nap and then had a good conversation with my best friend who is also my cousin. I always feel better after talking to her. We get on the phone and talk for hours because we never run out of things to say. I don't know what I would do without her.
Today, I am at work but my wonderful workers gave me a nice gift and they are taking me out to lunch today so that will be nice. I'm going to my parents tonight for dinner and presents so it will be a good day. I'm just trying to forget that I'm 36!
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