The road to self-respect

My feelings were hurt tonight. The current bachelor that I have been seeing who I had broken up with a little over a week ago hurt me yet again. In my previous post, I had talked about how he had gotten hurt this week and I tried to help take care of him and after a long discussion, we decided we would give dating another chance. Well, our communication has been slim this week but he did invite me over for dinner this evening so I went over after work. We were having good conversation and had a nice dinner, when he got a text from his ex-wife who wanted to bring over their dogs for the weekend. He told her ok and I wasn't sure how he felt about me being there with his ex coming over. I asked him if I should leave and he said no but then said if I wanted to leave for a little while and then come back, I could. I told him no as long as he didn't have a problem with me being there and he said it was ok but he wouldn't introduce me. His ex then sent another message asking him to meet her somewhere instead so she wouldn't have to drive all the way to his house and he agreed! He was going to leave in the middle of our date and have me wait at his house while he went to go pick up his dogs. I was going to do it at first but the more that I thought about it, the more upset I got about it. I asked if he had told her he had company and he said he did, I mentioned that she was still pulling the strings on him and I felt it was very rude of him to leave in the middle of our date. I finally said that no self-respecting woman would sit by and let a man treat her this way and told him I would be leaving because I could see where I stood with him. All he could say was that he was sorry.
I have put up with a lot of disrespect from the men that I have dated and then I am always so angry at myself for allowing it to happen. I still have a long way to go but for once, I am somewhat proud of the fact that I stood up for myself. I am hurt that I let this man treat me this way and for the fact that I wasn't important enough to him to tell her no. I am questioning what it is about me that would even give a man the idea that I can be treated this way. I cried all the way home and while I am going to be on the mend for a while, I also need to remember that I am worth so much more than I have allowed myself to believe. It's time for the man to be the one who pursues me and who will want to break down the walls that I am going to have to put into place around my heart.  No man is worth all the tears that I have shed over the last few weeks. I deserve better!